Starting Over
by Crystal Frost
Summary: Harry can't handle the death of his Godfather but then in a dream Sirius teaches him to let go. Harry takes the advice and uses it to the best of his ability. Later chapters will have HPGW. The story of his recovery during year six.


The Dream

It was pouring rain outside and the small house on 4 Privet Drive was silent. There weren't usually storms in Surry in the middle of July but Harry didn't care the slightest bit. In fact, in some ways he rather appreciated the rain, for it allowed him to feel less alone in his misery. Harry lay on his metal spring mattress and with his emerald green eyes gazed desolately up at his ceiling. His light brown lightning-bolt scar was aching but he ignored it, brushing aside his jet-black hair. He wished it could wash away the past. That the rain would wash away his tears and sorrow and let the memories of Sirius bring him pleasure rather then cause him so much pain. He had no one anymore. At least no adults that he looked up to that he could go to for help; no one that could be like a father.

"…and when finally someone is brought into my life to lift me up, they're snatched away from me just as fast," Harry whispered to himself faintly. He wiped his eyes and rolled over on his side and reached over to his dresser and pulled out a random letter from his large collection over the past years. It was one from Sirius, the one he received two years ago when he was getting advice on the Triwizard tournament. He read it over and smiled a little at the writing. Sirius always had a great sense of humor even when he was living off of rats in caves by Hogsmeade. The clock read 12:41 a.m. and so Harry decided to turn out the light and try to get some rest.

_'What do you mean?' Someone muttered._

_'No of course he isn't dead now go away,' said a voice that sounded like that of a little girl's._

_'What are you talking about?' A middle aged man's voice said._

_'Leave me alone' said the voice of an old woman._

_'Leave who alone?' said a younger boy._

_'What's going on?' someone said, fear behind their voice._

_'Don't come near me'_

_'Don't go near it.'_

_'Hold on a moment longer.'_

_'Stay AWAY from there!'_

_There was clamoring, bustle, whines of fear, and suddenly someone cried out in pain and then horror. The sounds of magic from different sorts of wands began jetting across the room. It seemed like a big and tall room, made of stone perhaps, because the echoing of the walls was excruciating with the same screams and cries and cruel laughing reoccurred innumerable times. Muttering of incantations being chanted, hissing, moaning, screeching, and hollers and pleas for help. Harry tried to open his eyes but it seemed impossible. He felt himself attempt to move and then to arch his back up to a sitting position but the pain was unbearable. It felt as though every bone in his body may be broken._

_When the agony, and suffering around him and within him seemed to never end, he heard a voice he recognized. Sirius. He was alive! Harry tried to sit up again but cried out in pain as he collapsed back down on the cold, stone ground._

_'Wait' Sirius whispered near his ear. 'Wait for me and you'll be okay.' Harry took a deep breath and he could see again but when he opened his eyes nothing was there. The tall, stone, cave building was as he had pictured it yet the emptiness within it seemed scary and abnormal when so much seemed to be happening while his eyes were closed. He moved only his eyes to see his body and what had happened to it and why it hurt to move when he realized that nothing was wrong and so gently, he stood. Dead bodies lay everywhere. Same wizards he knew, some he didn't, and Harry came to the realization that he may be the only live one in this room. Harry's heart was breaking. Where had Sirius gone? Were Hermione and Ron there? What about Ginny? Was it she who he heard cry out in pain at the beginning? How could I not have saved her? Harry ran at a wall and pressed himself against it, banging on it and crying out, 'Why! Why is this happening?' When suddenly a voice behind him responded._

_'Because you hid,' said a distant voice from across the room. Harry turned around and was face to face with none other then Sirius Black. Harry frowned._

_'Hid from what?' he asked angrily._

_'From yourself, from life, from reality.'_

_'What? But no. You're here, you're alive, you have to be, you…"_

_'Harry. Why do you always play these tricks on yourself? You want so badly for things that have gone to return that you forget about those who really are there. You need to stop holding on to things you've already lost and instead keep the things you still have. If I could still be there for you I would but I can't help you anymore. I'm not really here.' Sirius's brushed away his long dark hair, which was fallen in front of his dark eyes and grinned. 'We want you to be happy Harry. James, Lily, and I, you know that.'_

_Harry had tears streaming down his cheeks. Sirius was right. It had to end here. He had to let go; let the past be the past. But it was too hard. Why did it have to be this hard? Why did he have to die?_

_'Why did you have to die?' Harry muttered taking off his glasses to wipe his eyes so that he could get a better look at Sirius._

_'Because that was my path,' Sirius said matter-of-factly._

_'You mean you chose that path?' Harry wondered angrily._

_'No.' Sirius said plainly. 'It was chosen for me. And since that someone obviously has more power then me, they're probably smarter then me as well and know that this is how it was meant to be.' There was a pause where Harry didn't know what to say. 'You'll see me again Harry. You know you will. Someday, when the time is right, you'll see behind the veil.'_

Harry opened his eyes. It was morning and by the sound of it, the Dursley's hadn't woken up yet. The sun shone through Harry's window and as he used it's beams to give him energy to sit up and step out of bed, a little owl by the name of Pigwigeon flew through the window and landed right in Harry's palm with a little note strapped around its ankles. Harry grinned knowing it had to be good news because Harry knew that if Ron was upset he'd send Errol instead because he liked to watch the miserable old git suffer through a flight when it probably wasn't healthy for him to fly more then a block or so.

Harry opened the letter and it read:

_Harry_

_Hey mate, how've you been holding up? Hermione just got here. Can we come get you by floo? Mum says you can stay with us the rest of the summer if you like. We need to work on our potions homework anyway. Hermione says she's got the supplies we need. I've been working a lot on quidditch with Fred and George when they get time off from the shop and they say I'd make a good beater for next year. What do you think? Hey Ginny got a new pet for the school year. It's a little kitten named Muffin but she calls it Muffs. We found it on the street. It doesn't like Pig that much though._

_So let me know if you can come. We've got a little something planned for your birthday as well! But don't tell anyone I told you._

_Ron_

Harry quickly turned the note over and scribbled, "come get me tomarrow morning at eleven. Can't wait!" With that he folded it back up and send Pig back out into the bright morning day. Harry was feeling much better already. Soon he would be back with his best friends and everything would be okay.


End file.
